Please Read if You Are Going Through a Hard Time
This is for all the people out there who are having a hard time right now. This is for all the people right now that don’t feel like they are at the inspirational part of their life story, they’re in the fire swamp battling the ROUSes. This is for all the people that are finding it challenging to wake up each day and do the basic things they need to do…
Using Your Spiritual Practice as a Way to Heal Trauma
Feeling disconnected and unmoored is one of the most insidious aftereffects of trauma. Whether it’s 2+ years of pandemic isolation or the result of a childhood in an emotionally detached family, feeling disconnected and alone is such a common experience. I know that...
What if You Don’t Know How to Care for Yourself?
One of the most insidious aspects of growing up with emotionally unavailable parents is that I didn’t have models of how to be cared for. I didn’t grow up with examples of what it’s like to be comforted when I felt vulnerable, sad, afraid, or ashamed. I also didn’t...
This email almost sent me in a tailspin
The term “shadow work” has been everywhere lately. But what is it really? I think of shadow work in terms of healing and clearing the way for better spiritual, emotional and intuitive connections. Shadow work uses strategies or tools to look at the parts of ourselves...
Challenge Stress
I’m about to tell you something that’s gonna upend everything you know about stress. Recent research has found that stress can actually be good for you. And not just on an emotional level, stress can actually heal you physically, too. The problem is we’ve been doing...
How to turn hate and fear into love
One of the most difficult things I’ve done is learn how to love the person who abused me. When I was 26 years old, I made the incredibly difficult decision to cut my mother out of my life. In child abuse survivor circles, this is often called going “no contact” or NC...
You are a spiritual being having a human experience
Years ago, when I first heard the phrase, “You are a spiritual being having a human experience,” it felt comforting and like I was being given a pass from having to feel the burden of being human all the time. Oh yes, that’s right! This is just an experience,...
Do you know how to be proud of yourself?
The other day, my mentor asked me, “Are you proud of yourself?” I had just finished running my new course, Unconventional Tools for Healing, for the first time and was telling her how pleased I was to get some really lovely feedback from the participants. I stopped...
Two Questions That Changed My Life: “Do I have C-PTSD?” and “How do I heal it?”
A few years ago, I was listening to a podcast, and someone mentioned they had C-PTSD. I’d never heard of this before (PTSD, yes. But C-PTSD? Nope.) I looked it up, and when I saw the definition and symptoms, I immediately realized, “Oh FFS — that’s me. I have this.” …
What I’ve learned about growth mindset from binging British reality TV competitions
Lately, I’ve been working on unhooking from praise and criticism in how I evaluate myself and my work. I’ve been examining my own unhealthy relationship to praise and how I’ve chased “gold star stickers” as validation for most of my life. This started in elementary...
What’s my secret to health and success?
What's the one key element that's the basis for healing, happiness and success?…
Can you ace the ACE test? Why a high score might be bad news.
When I was 32 years old, I found out about ACE at one of my lowest moments. I had been referred to the social worker at the UCSF Cancer Center to help me find charity options to help pay for my cancer treatment. We talked a bit about my current work and financial...