The intricate link between mind and body reveals itself in myriad ways. As a medical intuitive, I’ve witnessed this connection manifest through my clients’ physical ailments, which often reflect unresolved emotional conflicts. One such example involves a client who came to me with a decades-long struggle with asthma.
In our sessions together, my client’s belief came through that in order to be worthy of love, they must continually strive to be a “good” person. This meant habitually putting others’ needs first, stifling their own desires, and regularly checking in to make sure others were happy. Despite their kindhearted efforts, an underlying feeling persisted that they were never quite good enough.
Asthma can be seen as the body signalling that it is not receiving enough air, mirroring my client’s fear of never getting enough love. Though outwardly gentle and accommodating, internally they felt suffocated by the pressure to earn love and acceptance. Just as their lungs constricted during an asthma attack, their spirit felt constrained by perpetual self-judgment.
Through energy healing techniques, I encouraged my client’s body to release the notion that love must be earned through self-sacrifice. We cleared this belief system and replaced it with the awareness that our only job is to emanate love – to be compassionate and loving towards every person, creature, plant and any other living thing we meet.
It was a simple shift really, but powerful as hell – moving from “I’ll only be loved if I’m good enough” to “I emanate love, so love will find its way to me.” As this new perspective took root, not only did my client’s asthma begin to clear up, but their feeling of unworthiness around love also began to fade.
This shift was simple yet profound – from feeling like we need to do things in order to be good enough to be loved, to realizing that if we emanate love, we will draw love to us. Many of us walk around feeling like we are not enough in some way, believing we need to fix ourselves or be kinder or more loving to deserve affection in return. In fact, the reverse is true – the more we ground ourselves in the awareness that we are deserving of love just as we are, just as much as we were the first day we were born, the more we will feel love flowing to us in all its many forms. When you stop chasing love and start emanating it instead, you’ll draw your soul family to you like moths to a flame.
Like the air we breathe, love surrounds us as our birthright – needing no justification. By realigning with the truth that you are enough, just as you are, and emanating your unique essence through thoughts, words and actions steeped in love – watch the mind-body healing unfold.
How would your life change if from this day forward you believed that your only job was to emanate love? how would it feel to walk through the world this way? how would it feel to receive love from everywhere around you simply for being in this state? I’d love to know what comes up for you when you try this thought experiment!
In an age dominated by ever-increasing productivity standards, curated social media personas, and financial rewards tied to relentless ambition, many of us have fallen into the trap of viewing ourselves primarily in terms of our usefulness or desirability to others. This worldview not only diminishes our individuality but also dangerously tethers our self-worth to external validation.
Such an outlook often stems from a long-standing social conditioning that, at its heart, is deeply rooted in systems of oppression. By unpacking and addressing these roots, we can begin to break free and value ourselves for who we are, rather than merely what we offer.
If your sense of pride or accomplishment is primarily based on ways you serve others (hello healers, coaches, therapists and teachers!) then it’s essential to pause and reflect. While there’s a genuine and beautiful value in helping others, defining one’s entire self-worth by this metric can be harmful. After all, aren’t there countless aspects of your character, like your intelligence, grit, or even the charming freckles on your face, that make you uniquely you? Why is it that we so often don’t know how to be proud of these inherent qualities?
Many current societal frameworks—like late-stage capitalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy—are essentially narcissistic systems. In these systems, individuals are frequently viewed and treated as mere objects, whether for corporate gain, male desire, or establishing superiority. We become commodities, tools for productivity, or benchmarks for comparison. In essence, these systems dehumanize us, seeking to strip us of our intrinsic value.
In the face of late-stage capitalism, we become mere gears in a vast machine, valued primarily for our output and economic contribution. Under patriarchy, women may often find themselves reduced to objects of male desire or gauged by their relational roles as daughters, mothers, or spouses. White supremacy, rooted in racial hierarchy, views non-white individuals through a lens of bias, prejudice, and often, devaluation.
So, how do we counteract such deep-seated conditioning? First, you must recognize and challenge these narcissistic systems. Understand that you are more than a mere instrument for someone else’s benefit.
Start by reflecting on your personal achievements and characteristics, whether or not they benefit others. Perhaps you’ve started a new hobby, made a new friend, or cultivated a rich inner world of thoughts and ideas.
Affirmations, repeated daily, can rewire negative self-perceptions; try statements like “I am valuable for who I am, not just what I do.” Surround yourself with supportive individuals who recognize and celebrate your intrinsic qualities, and remind yourself regularly why these people like you – it’s not because you’re useful to them, it’s because they feel connection with you.
Lastly, invest time in activities you love, not for any external reward, but simply because they resonate with your soul.
Reclaiming our individuality and inherent worth is an act of resistance against oppressive systems. Learning to value ourselves for who we are, rather than merely our utility, is how we challenge and subvert these systems, paving the way for a world where every individual is recognized, celebrated, and valued for who they are, not what they’ve done. We are human beings after all, not human doings, and it’s time for us to place value where it really belongs.
In a world that’s infinitely large and paradoxically small, our hearts are filled with constellations of emotions, swirling around a black hole of past pains and heartaches. In my recent healing sessions with clients, a recurring theme keeps presenting itself, begging to be dissected and understood: the phenomenon of the hardened heart.
You see, a heart doesn’t simply become stone overnight. It’s a gradual transformation, born from the crushing weight of betrayals and disappointments, often inflicted by the very people we’ve anchored our trust to. There’s an irony in the fact that a heart turns to stone not because it’s inherently cold, but because once upon a time, it loved too fiercely, too vulnerably.
When we delve into the anatomy of our hearts, it’s not just about ventricles and arteries. It’s about its chakra, the invisible torus shaped energy field it radiates, and the pericardium—its shield against life’s many adversities. These facets can all be wounded, not just by physical maladies, but by the invisible scars of emotional upheavals.
You’ve probably met them—the individuals who seem impenetrable, like fortresses. But behind those walls, their heartbeats tell tales of their past. It’s a silent, rhythmic communication. A coded message that’s felt, not heard. It’s in the hugs we share, the hands we hold, and even in the spaces between our words.
We’re taught to idolize independence and to wear our emotional armor with pride. Yet, beneath that facade, we’re all made of stardust, yearning for connections. To be authentically human, to truly feel alive, we need to let our guard down. We need to remember that our essence thrives on interconnection vulnerability, on being soft-hearted.
So, how do you un-break a heart that’s weathered many storms? The answer isn’t found in grand gestures, but in the myriad of small moments where we feel truly seen and cherished. Whisper to yourself, “In this vast cosmic expanse, I have a place, I am seen, and I belong.” Think back to those moments, perhaps laughing with friends under a canopy of stars or feeling the universe’s pulse while standing at the edge of the sea, where you felt like you were valued . Where you felt like you belonged.
Notice these fleeting moments. Hold onto them. They’re like fragments of shooting stars, brief but illuminating. Amidst the chaos of our existences, you have the innate power to mend your heart, stitch by stitch. Because, after all, we’re all just stories in the end, and yours is one worth living with an open heart.
After spending two decades in the field of health and healing, I have noticed an intriguing pattern: people with chronic or autoimmune illnesses frequently share three common characteristics. Far from being weaknesses, these characteristics are also inherent strengths once we understand how to navigate them. Transforming these maladaptive aspects into adaptive ones can lead to happier, healthier lives.
The Freeze or Appease Response
Under the pressure of stress, many individuals adopt one of two coping strategies: they either “freeze” or “appease.” Those in the “freeze” category might withdraw from stressful situations as a protective mechanism, they tend to walk away rather than get involved in an argument or confrontation. Those who “appease” may display an excessively accommodating nature, eager to diffuse conflict and maintain harmony even at personal expense.
This coping style can often lead to a person becoming an “internalizer” – someone more inclined to self-blame rather than attributing the issue to external factors. While this trait can foster a heightened sense of responsibility and introspection and lead to a lot of personal growth, when unregulated, it can also lead to undue self-criticism and anxiety.
High Empathy and Sensitivity
Another shared trait is a profound empathy, often present in those who are Highly Sensitive People (HSPs). This means they possess an extraordinary capacity to discern others’ moods through subtle cues, such as body language, tone of voice, or even energetic vibrations. You may not even realize you’re doing this and may think everyone has this ability, but I assure you, they do not!
However, being an HSP can make modern society’s demands challenging. HSPs often require more “tend and befriend” energy — nurturing and supportive environments — which our culture doesn’t always provide. While their heightened perception can make them excellent caregivers, educators, or counselors, the constant bombardment of stimuli can sometimes lead to overstimulation or emotional exhaustion.
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE)
Finally, a surprising number of people with chronic or autoimmune illnesses have an ACE score of 3 or more. ACE studies refer to the exploration of how negative experiences during formative years can significantly impact a person’s health and well-being later in life. These adverse experiences range from emotionally immature parents to household dysfunction, such as substance abuse, mental illness, or parental separation.
A high ACE score often correlates with increased risk for chronic or autoimmune diseases. These experiences can alter immune and nervous systems, predisposing the individual to a variety of health conditions. Yet, understanding this link provides an opportunity for healing past traumas and working towards a healthier future.
Understanding these shared traits — the freeze or appease response, high empathy and sensitivity, and an elevated ACE score — can empower us to make essential changes. Recognizing these aspects within ourselves is the first step towards mitigating their potentially detrimental effects and harnessing their strengths.
Remember, we are not defined by our conditions or our pasts. We have the power to shape our futures, and by addressing these aspects consciously, we can influence our health positively.
It’s a common belief that our brains are the sole creators of our thoughts, which we then become conscious of and act upon. However, recent research on neuroplasticity has revealed a far more fascinating reality – not only do our brains generate thoughts, but our thoughts also play a role in shaping our brains. The previously held notion that our brains were akin to computer hardware, and our thoughts to output, no longer holds true. The lines between them are much more blurred than we initially thought.
Indeed, our brains create thoughts that govern our body systems, but it doesn’t end there. The thoughts and emotions we consciously focus on can also alter the structure and function of our brains. This relationship is cyclical, not linear – more like an ongoing dialogue than a one-way street.
This discovery aligns with what we know about psychoneuroimmunology – the study of how our thoughts influence our body’s cellular functions. The old mechanical model of disease saw our bodies as machines, similar to cars, with diseases as the result of breakdowns. Now, we understand that our bodies are far more complex. In fact, how we utilize our bodies can impact their overall functioning. Imagine complimenting your car every morning and witnessing it perform better and suffer fewer breakdowns as a result!
So, how can you harness this knowledge to improve your health? There are two main strategies to consider:
- Monitor the thoughts and emotions you’re feeding your brain. Be mindful of the content you consume, from the media you watch to the people you interact with. Consistently exposing your brain to fear, anxiety, anger, or sadness may rewire it to be more prone to those feelings. As Louise Hay once replied when someone at one of her talks suggested killing two birds with one stone, “Why would I want to kill two birds? That sounds terrible!” Be conscious that the information, emotions, and thoughts in your environment can alter your brain, influencing the thoughts and emotions that emerge.
- Mess with your brain to alter the hardware in a positive way. Our brains struggle to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Research on mental practice has shown that when we vividly imagine scenarios, our brains process them as if they’re genuinely occurring. Why not use this to your advantage? Spend time each day visualizing situations that evoke happiness, laughter, connection, and gratitude. Committing to this practice for six to twelve months can reshape your brain, leading it to generate more positive thoughts and notice experiences that align with these emotions.
Now that you’re aware of the two-way street between your brain and thoughts, how will you choose to positively reshape your brain today? Embrace this newfound understanding, and embark on a journey towards a healthier, more fulfilling life, guided by the power of your thoughts.