In an age dominated by ever-increasing productivity standards, curated social media personas, and financial rewards tied to relentless ambition, many of us have fallen into the trap of viewing ourselves primarily in terms of our usefulness or desirability to others. This worldview not only diminishes our individuality but also dangerously tethers our self-worth to external validation.
Such an outlook often stems from a long-standing social conditioning that, at its heart, is deeply rooted in systems of oppression. By unpacking and addressing these roots, we can begin to break free and value ourselves for who we are, rather than merely what we offer.
If your sense of pride or accomplishment is primarily based on ways you serve others (hello healers, coaches, therapists and teachers!) then it’s essential to pause and reflect. While there’s a genuine and beautiful value in helping others, defining one’s entire self-worth by this metric can be harmful. After all, aren’t there countless aspects of your character, like your intelligence, grit, or even the charming freckles on your face, that make you uniquely you? Why is it that we so often don’t know how to be proud of these inherent qualities?
Many current societal frameworks—like late-stage capitalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy—are essentially narcissistic systems. In these systems, individuals are frequently viewed and treated as mere objects, whether for corporate gain, male desire, or establishing superiority. We become commodities, tools for productivity, or benchmarks for comparison. In essence, these systems dehumanize us, seeking to strip us of our intrinsic value.
In the face of late-stage capitalism, we become mere gears in a vast machine, valued primarily for our output and economic contribution. Under patriarchy, women may often find themselves reduced to objects of male desire or gauged by their relational roles as daughters, mothers, or spouses. White supremacy, rooted in racial hierarchy, views non-white individuals through a lens of bias, prejudice, and often, devaluation.
So, how do we counteract such deep-seated conditioning? First, you must recognize and challenge these narcissistic systems. Understand that you are more than a mere instrument for someone else’s benefit.
Start by reflecting on your personal achievements and characteristics, whether or not they benefit others. Perhaps you’ve started a new hobby, made a new friend, or cultivated a rich inner world of thoughts and ideas.
Affirmations, repeated daily, can rewire negative self-perceptions; try statements like “I am valuable for who I am, not just what I do.” Surround yourself with supportive individuals who recognize and celebrate your intrinsic qualities, and remind yourself regularly why these people like you – it’s not because you’re useful to them, it’s because they feel connection with you.
Lastly, invest time in activities you love, not for any external reward, but simply because they resonate with your soul.
Reclaiming our individuality and inherent worth is an act of resistance against oppressive systems. Learning to value ourselves for who we are, rather than merely our utility, is how we challenge and subvert these systems, paving the way for a world where every individual is recognized, celebrated, and valued for who they are, not what they’ve done. We are human beings after all, not human doings, and it’s time for us to place value where it really belongs.
In a world that’s infinitely large and paradoxically small, our hearts are filled with constellations of emotions, swirling around a black hole of past pains and heartaches. In my recent healing sessions with clients, a recurring theme keeps presenting itself, begging to be dissected and understood: the phenomenon of the hardened heart.
You see, a heart doesn’t simply become stone overnight. It’s a gradual transformation, born from the crushing weight of betrayals and disappointments, often inflicted by the very people we’ve anchored our trust to. There’s an irony in the fact that a heart turns to stone not because it’s inherently cold, but because once upon a time, it loved too fiercely, too vulnerably.
When we delve into the anatomy of our hearts, it’s not just about ventricles and arteries. It’s about its chakra, the invisible torus shaped energy field it radiates, and the pericardium—its shield against life’s many adversities. These facets can all be wounded, not just by physical maladies, but by the invisible scars of emotional upheavals.
You’ve probably met them—the individuals who seem impenetrable, like fortresses. But behind those walls, their heartbeats tell tales of their past. It’s a silent, rhythmic communication. A coded message that’s felt, not heard. It’s in the hugs we share, the hands we hold, and even in the spaces between our words.
We’re taught to idolize independence and to wear our emotional armor with pride. Yet, beneath that facade, we’re all made of stardust, yearning for connections. To be authentically human, to truly feel alive, we need to let our guard down. We need to remember that our essence thrives on interconnection vulnerability, on being soft-hearted.
So, how do you un-break a heart that’s weathered many storms? The answer isn’t found in grand gestures, but in the myriad of small moments where we feel truly seen and cherished. Whisper to yourself, “In this vast cosmic expanse, I have a place, I am seen, and I belong.” Think back to those moments, perhaps laughing with friends under a canopy of stars or feeling the universe’s pulse while standing at the edge of the sea, where you felt like you were valued . Where you felt like you belonged.
Notice these fleeting moments. Hold onto them. They’re like fragments of shooting stars, brief but illuminating. Amidst the chaos of our existences, you have the innate power to mend your heart, stitch by stitch. Because, after all, we’re all just stories in the end, and yours is one worth living with an open heart.
It’s a common belief that our brains are the sole creators of our thoughts, which we then become conscious of and act upon. However, recent research on neuroplasticity has revealed a far more fascinating reality – not only do our brains generate thoughts, but our thoughts also play a role in shaping our brains. The previously held notion that our brains were akin to computer hardware, and our thoughts to output, no longer holds true. The lines between them are much more blurred than we initially thought.
Indeed, our brains create thoughts that govern our body systems, but it doesn’t end there. The thoughts and emotions we consciously focus on can also alter the structure and function of our brains. This relationship is cyclical, not linear – more like an ongoing dialogue than a one-way street.
This discovery aligns with what we know about psychoneuroimmunology – the study of how our thoughts influence our body’s cellular functions. The old mechanical model of disease saw our bodies as machines, similar to cars, with diseases as the result of breakdowns. Now, we understand that our bodies are far more complex. In fact, how we utilize our bodies can impact their overall functioning. Imagine complimenting your car every morning and witnessing it perform better and suffer fewer breakdowns as a result!
So, how can you harness this knowledge to improve your health? There are two main strategies to consider:
- Monitor the thoughts and emotions you’re feeding your brain. Be mindful of the content you consume, from the media you watch to the people you interact with. Consistently exposing your brain to fear, anxiety, anger, or sadness may rewire it to be more prone to those feelings. As Louise Hay once replied when someone at one of her talks suggested killing two birds with one stone, “Why would I want to kill two birds? That sounds terrible!” Be conscious that the information, emotions, and thoughts in your environment can alter your brain, influencing the thoughts and emotions that emerge.
- Mess with your brain to alter the hardware in a positive way. Our brains struggle to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Research on mental practice has shown that when we vividly imagine scenarios, our brains process them as if they’re genuinely occurring. Why not use this to your advantage? Spend time each day visualizing situations that evoke happiness, laughter, connection, and gratitude. Committing to this practice for six to twelve months can reshape your brain, leading it to generate more positive thoughts and notice experiences that align with these emotions.
Now that you’re aware of the two-way street between your brain and thoughts, how will you choose to positively reshape your brain today? Embrace this newfound understanding, and embark on a journey towards a healthier, more fulfilling life, guided by the power of your thoughts.
If you’re someone who struggles with depression, anxiety or mood swings, I’ve got some news for you.
Your struggles aren’t all in your head, in fact they’re most likely in your gut.
Recent research shows that 95% of our serotonin (the happy mood regulating chemical) is made by bacteria in our digestive system. Surprisingly, our gut microbiome is responsible for much of our mood cognition and mental health.
It turns out that the state of our intestines and the health of the critters that live in them (our bacterial and fungal microbiome) can affect everything from hormone regulation to our immune system and most notably, our mood and cognition. Research shows that fluctuations in our microbiome cause changes in all of these systems and severe fluctuations can even cause disease in the long term.
There have been multiple studies that show that chronic depression and anxiety are linked to what’s called “gut dysbiosis” or an imbalance in the type, number, and location of various microbiome species. When researchers provided treatment that balanced the microbiome, levels of anxiety and depression decreased.
What does this mean for you? If you’re someone that tends towards anxiety or depression, the cause may not be all in your head. Of course, our past experiences and daily lives can affect our mental health, but it appears that even those experiences and trauma reactions affect our gut microbiome as well. Our head brains and gut brains work as one system when it comes to mood and cognition. Changes in our mood or stress level alter the makeup of our microbiome, and those alterations can in turn affect our mood and stress levels. Like much of our physiology, it’s not so much cause and effect but rather homeostasis (or balance) that’s important.
How do I keep my gut critters happy?
Here are 4 ways to keep your microbiome’s critters happy and healthy:
- Eat lots of plants. Our gut critters need to eat, too, and their favorite foods are what are called “prebiotics” found in vegetables, grains, and fruits. Make sure you’re eating a variety of these foods so your microbiome will have plenty to chow down on.
- Eat or drink fermented or cultured foods. There are plenty of foods that contain the healthy bacteria and fungi/yeast we need. Things like sauerkraut, pickles, kimchi, kiefer, yogurt and miso are all good sources of bacteria that our guts love.
- Avoid preservatives, artificial sweeteners and food coloring. All of these have been shown to decimate our microbiome. When possible, avoid these additives in your food. Some common food preservatives to look out for on nutrition labels are: nitrates/nitrites, sulfites, parabens, cellulose, and MSG.
- Meditate regularly. The list of health benefits from meditation keeps growing! There’s a study that recently came out which shows that the gut microbiome of Buddhist monks was healthier than that of neighboring residents in the same town. (I want it noted that the study states that, “All samples were collected and measured by professionals,” meaning that someone had the job title of “monk poop collector” for the duration of this study.)
If you suspect that your mood issues are gut related and you’ve tried all of the above without success, you can always reach out to me. I’m always happy to answer questions, and energy healing is another great way to address microbiome issues. I have many happy clients who have balanced their gut health through our sessions.
It’s that time of year again, when we all decide that we need new year’s resolutions to overhaul our lives, our exercise plans, or our eating habits. I always had a love/hate relationship with new year’s resolutions until I realized why they rub me the wrong way.
New year’s resolutions are positioned as a way to “fix” or “improve” something that you’re not doing well enough. They are rooted in self-improvement, productivity, and perfectionism ideology.
Let me tell you two things:
- You don’t need improving. You shouldn’t be anywhere other than where you are in your life, and you are perfect at every moment, growing and evolving in the perfect way for your unique soul.
- Guilt, shame and perfectionism has never healed or improved anything.
Let’s look at another way to do new years resolutions that isn’t rooted in shame, guilt or compare and despair. I want you to use the following journaling prompts to find out what will truly make you healthy and happy.
- The type of support, love and emotional nutrients I need are … (this could be emotional, practical, spiritual)
- When I think about the good I want to do in the world, I want to (do, start, make, help)….
- When I think of the moments when I feel cared for, safe, resourced and relaxed, I think of…
Once you’ve identified one or more things from these prompts, I want your resolution to be to manifest more of this in your daily life. Manifestation is one part action and one part magic. If you put yourself in situations where you can find those things you identified (or you ask people around you to help) AND you sit in the feelings of how good these things feel to you, then you’ll find the world softens in a way where these show up in your life more and more.
If you try this method, let me know what you think! And as always, reach out if you have any questions or comments, my virtual door is always open for you.
One of the most common questions I get from potential clients is “Can you help me with X condition?” and the answer is most often, “Yes, I can!” The medical intuitive healing system that I’ve created works with your body’s own healing systems on all three levels of body, mind and soul. I meet you at the healing edge of what you’re ready to balance, release or heal next on any of those three levels, and we move forward from there.
Over the next few months, I want to share some case studies with you so that you can understand the power of medical intuitive healing. I’ve changed the names and identifying details of these clients for privacy purposes, but the symptoms, treatment and results are all directly from my client notes.
Julia came to me with severe food and environmental allergies. For years, she’d become increasingly unable to eat any foods without breaking out in a rash or having shortness of breath. When we first started working together, she was down to only being able to eat 5 foods. She couldn’t eat out or to a friend’s house for dinner without bringing her own food. She also was suffering from environmental allergies and sensitivities that made it difficult to be in many public places without developing shortness of breath and headaches.
When I asked what she most wanted from our sessions, Julia said that she wanted to be able to go to her daughter’s house and babysit her young granddaughter. In the past, Julia had been her granddaughter’s regular afternoon babysitter, picking her up from daycare and spending the afternoons with her while her daughter and son-in-law were still at work. In the last 12 months or so, Julia’s environmental and food allergies had become so severe that she hadn’t been able to be in her daughter’s house or prepare the foods her granddaughter liked to eat for afternoon snacks.
Julia and I worked together for about 4 months, slowly bringing her digestive and immune systems back into balance and addressing trauma held in her body from both her own experience of childhood emotional neglect and her contentious divorce 10 years earlier. We worked on everything from her gut microbiome to past life karma, and even epigenetic changes that were causing her allergies.
Slowly, she began to eat more foods. Slowly, she began to be able to go to shops and restaurants without allergic reactions to the chemicals in the environment.
By the end of four months she was ecstatic — she could order food off of a menu and eat without fear! And she was able to prepare snacks for her granddaughter without getting a rash.
And best of all, Julia was back to babysitting again several times per week. I could hear the absolute joy in her voice when she told me about the games she and her granddaughter had played together that week. Julia was finally able once again to do the thing she loved the most, those things that brought so much meaning and satisfaction to her life.
I’ve had so many clients like this, who have suffered for years with unexplained allergies or sensitivities, which really can keep you from doing the things that bring you meaning and joy. If this sounds like you or someone you know, don’t give up hope! Energy healing can bring about healing that sounds miraculous, but is really just your body tapping into its own natural desire to be balanced and joyfully whole.