Writings, Musings and How-To Guides
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How to Make Better Use of Your Time
One of my favorite novels is Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let me Go. It’s a sci-fi thriller about the moral implications of human cloning and a few years after it was published, they made a film adaptation. I went to see a screening and afterwards, there was a Q&A with...
What I do when worry takes over
I’ve spent a lot of time worrying the past few days. My worrying always tends to be about the same, familiar topics and it feels involuntary — I’ll be fine one minute and then suddenly I’ll start with a familiar spiral of worrying thoughts. Like a well-worn path in...
Mother Teresa was an A$$hole
Recently, I’ve noticed a theme coming up in my conversations with friends and clients — we’re all sick of being nice. By being nice, I mean doing the emotional labor to make sure our message is coming through in a pleasant way, while also scanning our conversation...
Compassion is the first step
“Before we can be with one another we have to learn to grieve with one another” - Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. At the time, he was speaking about the conflict between the Israelis and the...
How to turn hate and fear into love
One of the most difficult things I’ve done is learn how to love the person who abused me. When I was 26 years old, I made the incredibly difficult decision to cut my mother out of my life. In child abuse survivor circles, this is often called going “no contact” or NC...
The Four Phases of Spiritual Awakening
I had so many responses to my last essay, “You are the boat”, that I wanted to tell you a bit more about what I know about the phases of spiritual awakening. And of course, talk more about the boat! The metaphor of a kayak navigating the rapids and how it relates to...
You are the boat.
I’m sitting in my red kayak, paddle across my lap, staring at the class 3 rapids just ahead of me. I’d pulled over to a calm spot on the river to mentally map my path through the rapid. Three days before this was the first time I’d ever been in a kayak in my life. Six months before this, at 32-years-old, I’d been diagnosed with stage III colon cancer.
You are a spiritual being having a human experience
Years ago, when I first heard the phrase, “You are a spiritual being having a human experience,” it felt comforting and like I was being given a pass from having to feel the burden of being human all the time. Oh yes, that’s right! This is just an experience,...
Do you know how to be proud of yourself?
The other day, my mentor asked me, “Are you proud of yourself?” I had just finished running my new course, Unconventional Tools for Healing, for the first time and was telling her how pleased I was to get some really lovely feedback from the participants. I stopped...
“You’re sick because you want people to see you as a person, not an object.”
I heard this sentence so clearly as I woke up in the middle of the night a few nights ago. I’d been reading Ram Dass’ Be Here Now just before I fell asleep and I’d had vibrant, psychedelic dreams about the nature of consciousness. (I guess that’s what I get for reading Be Here Now right before bed.) I don’t remember the dreams per se, but about an hour later I woke from a very vivid dream to those words.
Questions for Saul: “What Do I Do When I Feel Stuck?”
In this morning’s workshop, someone asked Saul a wonderful question about what to do when we feel stuck. I have often asked myself this same question, and I’ve heard it from so many people as they try to make their way forward in life, so I thought it would be helpful to share Saul’s wisdom here.
How a Belly Rub Led to My Psychic Discovery
I didn’t always know that I had psychic abilities.
But, when I was about 25 years old, I was lying in bed one night, absent-mindedly running my hands over my belly. This was something I automatically did to self-soothe and relax. When my hand moved over this spot on my left side, all of the voices in my head that tick through my to-do list or rehash that last conversation I had—all of that suddenly went …silent.
Why It’s So Hard To Rest And Relax
I stopped for a moment and reflected on her question. I answered honestly, and felt myself holding back tears as I responded:
“I don’t think I know how to be proud of myself.”
The Simple Buddhist Practice That Transformed My Relationship With My Narcissistic Parent
I was a young woman trying to figure out how to have a decent relationship with mom – so I could have someone in my life who could support me, love me, and help me figure out the turbulent transitions of young adulthood.
I hadn’t yet realized that my mom was unable to do these things for me due to her mental health issues, and I was still trying to think of ways that I could repair or improve our relationship.
The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have
We all have “inner critics” — that voice in our head that’s less than supportive, doubting, and sometimes even mean. The main problem with the inner critic is that it keeps us from having a healthy version of the most important relationship we’ll ever have — the relationship with ourselves.
What Kind of F*er are You?!
How to determine your sympathetic nervous system response type.
Your particular F*er type is derived from the 4 types of sympathetic nervous system response, also known as the “4 Fs” in physiology.
Two Questions That Changed My Life: “Do I have C-PTSD?” and “How do I heal it?”
A few years ago, I was listening to a podcast, and someone mentioned they had C-PTSD. I’d never heard of this before (PTSD, yes. But C-PTSD? Nope.)
I looked it up, and when I saw the definition and symptoms, I immediately realized, “Oh FFS — that’s me. I have this.”
COVID-19 Vaccine Prep Sessions Now Available!
Now offering (due to popular demand!): COVID-19 vaccine prep sessions I've been doing vaccine prep sessions informally with current clients, but I'm getting referrals from friends of clients who have heard about the great results my clients are having and want a...