Writings, Musings and How-To Guides
Get your read onCan you ace the ACE test? Why a high score might be bad news.
When I was 32 years old, I found out about ACE at one of my lowest moments. I had been referred to the social worker at the UCSF Cancer Center to help me find charity options to help pay for my cancer treatment. We talked a bit about my current work and financial...
Energetic body systems: how your hidden body affects your health
Did you know that you have a second, hidden body? We’re all aware of our physical bodies and can name the various body systems: cardiovascular, nervous, digestive, etc. But you have a whole other set of body systems that affect your health just as much, your energetic...
How to find a lost cat from 3,000 miles away
I want to share a sweet story with you about something that happened to me this last New Year’s Eve. It involves the coldest day of the year, a lost cat 3,000 miles away from me, and the way social media can connect us in the best of ways. It was around 5:00pm west...
The secret to being a better person and improving your relationships
I’m going to let you in on a secret for how to be a better person. It’s easy, fast and has been scientifically proven to improve your relationship with yourself and others. It’s called Mettā meditation. I first came across Mettā, or Loving Kindness, meditation years...
It’s the ME show. Staring ME!!
Hundreds of years ago, people mistakenly assumed that the sun and planets revolve around the earth. We now know that's not the way it is, but it was easy to see why people thought that way -- that’s what it looks like from our point of view here on earth. However,...
Three ways to turn off your inner critic
My inner critic likes to try to bring me down. “What if you really suck at that? You should just give up now.” “Do they really want to hang out with me? Maybe they’re just being nice.” “I can’t even compete. Look at how amazing everyone else is. I’ll never succeed.”...
3 Steps to Fail Successfully
I hate that sinking feeling in my stomach when I realize I’ve messed up. Or when I put something out there in the world and all I get in response is crickets. Feelings of doubt and worthlessness creep in. “Uh oh”, I think, “That’s not good.” I failed. I tried, put in...
What toxic varnish remover taught me about goal setting
I’m sprucing up my home office and bought an old wood side table off Letgo. It’s an ugly piece now, it’s got super shiny varnish over a terrible color wood stain but I see it’s potential. Hello, little new table friend, you are going to be stripped of your atrocious...
Zen and the Art of Gridlocked Traffic
I'm driving and I see people flipping out around me all the time. Knuckles white, yelling at someone who can’t hear them, and banging on the wheel. I don’t get it. There’s nothing we can do, and this is beyond our control. Yes, this traffic sucks. Yes, I’ve been going...
Sometimes I’m the a-hole.
You know what? Sometimes I’m the a-hole. I’ve been the one driving along, thinking of the things I need to get done, and I almost miss my exit. I realize this about two seconds before the exit has passed, so I look to my right and too quickly swerve into the tiny...
Why do your friends secretly like it when you get sick?
Your friends probably enjoy it when you get sick. No, not because they have a secret streak of schadenfreude. They don’t want too see you feel badly, but they do want to help. Studies show that helping others has a direct link to our own happiness. Whether it’s...
The one question that has saved my relationship
In every relationship, you are going to make each other angry. Through thoughtlessness, naiveté, and ignorance, we are all going to flub it up with our partners every now and again. How do you know if you should bring it up? If you mention every little thing that...
A simple way to become more loving
Self-compassion is the ability to be compassionate (kindhearted, caring and gentle) with yourself. It has been shown to increase levels of happiness, optimism, and a sense of well-being. We’re all quite skilled at being compassionate with other people like our...
My secret weapon for staying balanced
Over the past 10 years I have been practicing mindfulness. It has made a world of difference in how I interact with others and how I process all the ups and downs of life. It has helped me to remain balanced and have a perspective that I never knew I could have....